Until Now

In less than one week I will embark on the most significant journey of self discovery that one ventures on during the course of their entire life, college. I am so excited, nervous, anxious, happy, sad, and terrified; all at the same time. I'm not beginning my new life with a 'me' mindset like most freshman do. Even though I believe more independence will taste so sweet, I do not plan to waste my time at the University of Alabama. I believe this will be, among many things, a spiritual quest like no other. These are the years where a majority of people lose their religion for whatever reason; but for me, I plan on attacking my new home with a mission state of mind. 

I've grown up and been awaken to what can lay ahead of me. I've been so filled with the Spirit and have seen the workmanship of God before my very eyes. I've had the opportunity to work with friends that I now call family, and family that have become my friends. I'm beyond blessed to be a part of a church that loves, worships, and prays like no body of believers that I have ever experienced. I've had someone invest so much of his time and prayers in my life that I honestly believe I would be nowhere near the person I am without him and his amazing family; and I've seen my family grow in their faith through servanthood. All of these things have contributed to the woman I am today, and will continue to impress on me as I become the woman that God is molding me into. 

This summer has been so beneficial to my preparation for the future. The months passed quickly, but my memories are sweeter than any other that I have. I have experienced so much, but it's just the tip of the iceberg. Every day I learn something new, and realize how ignorant I am. I'm so excited to learn and grow in my faith over the next four years. Right now I'm going to tell you a synapse of why this summer was a summer that will always be a topic of conversation for me.

Paint a picture, film a movie, go to a theatre; do whatever you have to do to envision where a vital part of my summer took place. 

It's 90 degrees, and still; no relief from the heat or the humidity from the beautiful Caribbean Sea. You're on a bus passing by fishermen in homemade canoes, children playing in the streets, men selling the fruits of their labor, and women sitting on the porch doing laundry. On your right is the poverty struck jungle and on your left is a million dollar view. If you listen closely, you can hear music playing from a radio and the natives speaking Patois. Welcome to Oracabessa, Jamaica. 

We flew from Atlanta, Georgia to Montego Bay, Jamaica; the tourist city. The first thing that blew my mind was that I had the guts to fly. The second thing that blew my mind was the multimillion dollar tourist attraction being on the same islands as the concrete, plywood, clothesline village that I fell in love with; correction, whose people I fell in love with. I had a hard time believing that the two cities where less than three hours away from each other. 

During the morning hours of our trip we put our muscles to work at the Spicy Grove Children's Villa; which one day, God willing, will be a boys home. We weeded until we couldn't weed anymore, tile was laid, trash and leaves were burned, and the most beautiful bamboo fence was constructed. All of the sweat and fatigue was totally worth it because of the friendships we made or strengthened while working side by side. Some members of our team bonded closely with Tommy, we all love Alex, but I had the opportunity to spend a lot of time with Ian.  

He is Godly, a walking fortune cookie. Everything he says is spiritual, he is full of life lessons because he's lived a life without Christ. Sometimes I think that's why the Church is in such a state that it's in, especially in the Bible Belt; we have forgotten, or don't even acknowledge, that we have lived a life without Christ because there is no significant change in the hearts of most "christians" from before they accepted Christ, until now. Most people can't look backed on the life they led because it is the same life they are currently leading post baptism; I'm skeptical to say post-salvation. Anyways, back to Ian. He is an amazing person and I could have talked to him all day long. He's a father to two sweet children and all he wants, other than to please God, is to have a strong relationship with his children and teach them to have an eternal relationship with our Savior. What if that was the desire of every father out there?!

Tommy had an awesome faith too! But I didn't personally hear his story, so I don't want to write it. That's the thing about Jamaicans; if they had faith, they had it abundantly. We met a lady named Ms. Trisha. Hearing her speak about the Jamaican church was a blessing. She told the story of Hurricane Sandy flooding her home and do you want to know what she said? "God is a good God. The storm could have came at night when we could not see and many lives would have been lost." If I were a Jamaican listening to an American speak about a storm I probably would have heard, 'thank God it wasn't worse than it was but we lost blah, blah, blah.' But no, she saw the rainbow after the storm, not the storm itself. What if we learned to count our blessings instead of our troubles?

"Don't turn your halo into a noose. You are a blessed man." -Ian

The adults became our friends, but the children became our hearts. On the first day with the children, we drove past the triangle (a three way stop concept, minus the stop part) and in the back window 10 or 15 kids came running down the street behind our plain-Jane twelve passenger van. They weren't attracted by colors or gifts, but us. The doors of our van opened and so did our arms, the kids jump in them like we were their best friends. I felt at home 1, 155 miles away from my front door. 

For two hours a day, four days of the week, we hung out with the children of Oracabessa. That's all the time it took to fall in love with them. We played games, sung, danced, hugged, and most importantly, loved those kids. They were so open to Christ and knew so much. I remember walking around the property and hearing the girls singing praise songs and I even heard, "waves of mercy, waves of grace! Everywhere I look, I see your face!" I have always worked with children, but I have never been more amazed in my life than I was that week being with that group of kids. Their hearts are so big. The quote, "some people are so poor, all they have is money" is all I could think of when I thought about Americans. We have been blessed beyond measures; so blessed that we don't realize what we have are blessing. We have a terrible case of obligation. These children, these people, are some of the richest people I have ever encountered; yet they have next to nothing. 

My eyes were opened that week. I know that's a typical thing to hear from any teenager that just came back from any church trip; but it's true. I've never not been able to get people off of my mind, until now. I've never cried for people I barely knew, until now. I've never known what it means to count your blessings and be content with what you have, until now. I've never been so complete and so broken, until now. I've never heard testimonies like the ones my friends in Jamaica shared with me. I never thought I would ever be this ready to get back on an airplane. 

I never saw college as a mission field, until now. 

My goal isn't to have the right words and speak to groups of people about the love of Christ, because to be honest, that's all most people have ever known. My desire is to live a life that shouts the words I will never have the courage to say. I want to walk in truth and love. 

That's my mission mindset. What's yours?

                   

What's next?

I'm not an interesting person. I'm not the smartest student. I'm not the best child. I'm not the life of the party. I'm not the mouth of the south. I'm not a face  worth remembering. I'm not comparable to the rest of my peers. And I'm okay with that. As different as we all are, we are still faced with the same question. What's next?

For those of you who may come across this and do not know me personally, my classmates and I threw our caps last Thursday, May 23rd. It's officially summer, just like every other summer we've ever had. But our lives will be different with the fall. 

I can't tell you what's next for my classmates, my close friends, or even myself. Some of us are already working or taking summer classes. The rest of us start school in the fall... Roll Tide, by the way. That's where I will be. 

All of that is good and wonderful. We're doing something with our lives; something that matters. But when I asked what's next, the fall isn't what I was referring to. 

Called, chosen, separated, different... all of these words can be summed up as one; removed. 
Picture a jar of peanut butter. If it sits in the cabinet a few days, the oil will rise to the top; before you use it you have to mix it back together. There's a point to this, I promise. 

I look at the world and see destruction, a mess, and it breaks me. But what hurts even more than seeing the downfall our my world, is knowing it is my fault. What?! Kelly, you're a Christian; a good kid. That's not your fault! Yes it is. This world is the product of what we as Christians have allowed it to become. Because we are no different than the next person, because we do not live a radical life, because we fail to be the salt and the light of the world, we have contributed to corruption of our town, county, state, and nation. 

God has chosen us to be different. Yet, we look exactly like everyone else. I'm not excluded from this; I'm writing this for myself. We have been taught that we don't have to live a sold out life. We have adopted a watered down version of "Christianity". What we know is a manmade American easy-peasy religion. We aren't required to change our lives, our schedules aren't interfered with; don't worry, you don't have to leave your comfort zone. We pretend like our brothers and sisters across the world aren't risking their lives underground to praise God. What if it came down to that for us in the States?!

We have been called to live fruitful life; a being of love, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, joy, and self-control. These things don't come over night, but are grown through discipline. Discipline is what we lack. Back to the peanut butter analogy. Christians are the oil. We rise to the top of the crowd because something is different within us, or that's what is suppose to happen. Are we really different? Do we really separate ourselves from a sinful society? Not really, no. But if we were to live as we should, we would stand out from the crowd. Once the oil separates from the peanut butter, it has to be mixed back in so we can eat it right? Right. Then what's the point in being separated to begin with? When Christians remove themselves from the influence of a self-centered society and devote ourselves to Christ, our relationship with Him strengthens. Eventually our faith is strong, we're on the meat of the word (that DOES NOT mean we won't fail, we will, but we ARE forgiven). When our faith becomes strong and we gain self control, the oil can be mixed back in. The oil and the peanut butter are two different ingredients, but there cannot be one without the other. After surrendering to Christ and mixing in with society, we are different; equipped and able to making a difference for the Kingdom of God. 

The older I get, the more I study, the more I realize the life I lead is average. I am not running full force towards a risen Savior that battled Hell for me. I have been given the gift of salvation, that I do not deserve, and I am wasting it. I have been taught to waste it. I want to be that example in love and truth to the girls younger than me because I didn't have that example. The first step to being that person I want to be is realizing that I cannot live an apathetic life, I cannot disregard a calling from God, and I cannot rely on a once-a-week church service that will not fulfill my spiritual needs. I have to dig in God's word in order to have the type of relationship with God that I thirst for.  

This summer I'm on a mission; I have a new prayer. This summer is a summer of transformation. My desire is for God to mold me into the woman I have been called to be, a woman after his heart; a woman that is the same person Saturday-Sunday, at work or at home. A prayer to be an example in love and truth; I pray for a heart that will serve all. Every day I want to grow closer to the One who gave it all. This is a lifelong project. I have said it several times before and I say it again; our idea of a relationship with Christ is not even close to what it was meant to be. I am not okay with a halfway kind of faith. I want more. 

1 Corinthians 9:19

Abort Mission or Abort Yourself

I had an opportunity to have a conversation with a couple of friends the other day about an unusual topic. We talked about God, church, and how we viewed Christians. I know as a born again believer of Christ, a conversation about the person that is "number one" in our lives shouldn't be unusual at all, but comfortable. I realized that isn't the case. God is in the box we have built for him and he better not get out. He better not convict us or try to interfere in our lives. I mean, it's OUR lives. 

Wrong. 

This isn't our life. It never was our life. We made it ours. We were called to die to ourselves every single day and live through Christ, for Christ. That truth has been twisted, blurred, tweaked, and made the perfect measurements to fit inside the God sized area of our lives, if you even include Him at all. 

Kamikaze; my death is gain. 

Kamikaze were Japanese airman in World War II that were suicide bombers. They didn't have fuel to fly back to the carriers so they used their planes as bombs. They could have easily landed their planes some where and become Prisoners of War. But they chose to die for their country. That was how the Japanese airman gained honor. They didn't take the easy route that led to nothing. They made the hard decision, they took the narrow path, and died an honorable death (by Japanese description). 

Hypothetically speaking, the members of the Church are Japanese airmen. The church's plane landed safely on a small island. "Christians" have it hard. I mean we have had to live on a deserted island, find food and learn to survive in the wild. We have accepted the title of Missing in Action. We chose to land. We chose to abort the mission and live an easy, meaningless, unfulfilling life. 

Everyday is a choice. For the vast majority, some unknowingly, Christians choose to abort the mission. What if one day we wake up, tired of the same ole emptiness we live with everyday, and choose to get on the battlefield. What if we embrace the mission and fight until the war is won? What if we chose to abort ourselves everyday?

I've been marked by my Maker, a peculiar display.

Oh man. If we, myself included, put the same effort, the same faith, into our relationship with Christ as we do sports, significant others, work, or dare I say, church, what would this place look like? I can tell you what it won't look like. It won't look like anything we've ever seen. 

I believe that there are so many people in my community searching for something more than the lives they are living. They may not know that they are looking for Christ, but they are. What if those of us who claim God as number one in our lives, actually made him number one. I can see the spiritual spark and flicker of individual fires all over this place. God wants to work. God is fighting for us. God's heart is shattered because we haven't given ourselves to him. We live the American definition of Christianity. The American definition of following Christ is a wide and wore path. Many have mistaken it for the straight and narrow. God is waiting for us to die to ourselves every single day. He loves us so much. It will take your breath away if you take time to think about it. 

It's never too late to die to yourselves and live for God. You're never too far into sin to get out. You are never too far away from God that he can't reach. You will never have a stain so big or messy that God can't clean it. He's waiting on us. What's it going to be?

Abort Mission or Abort Yourself?

New Year, New Journey.

Happy 2013, y'all! You know what season it is. The season of regrets and resolutions. Around this time at the end of every single year, everybody looks at their regrets from that year. Based on their regrets, they make New Years' resolutions. Sound familiar? It does to me too.

In my eighteen years of experience, all sarcasm  intended, I have learned a thing of two. One of the many things I have learned is resolutions last, on average, about two weeks.

This sounds like the beginning of a motivational, set a goal and reach it, "you can do it!" type blog. Not really. Even though I believe that if I can set a goal, work my butt off and reach it, anyone can.

This is an introduction to a new journey. The journey from fan, to follower. I'm a fan of Alabama Crimson Tide football. I'm a fan of afternoon naps. I'm a fan of pizza rolls and music. I'm a fan of my job, working out, helping others and helping myself. I'm a fan of the car I drive, my friends, and my paycheck. Until the past few months, I have been a fan of Christ.

I was born and raised an Alabama fan. I bleed crimson and have a houndstooth heart. Roll Tide is an appropriate response for all situations. Bryant-Denny is the most beautiful place around. His real name was 'Bear'. I will have engagement pictures taken on the University of Alabama campus. That's just how it is. But anybody that loves the tradition and class of the Crimson Tide will agree with this, 1) we have terrible fans that give us all a bad name, 2) bandwagon fans. The group that has hitched a ride on the crimson and white fan bus is large. They found opportunity to have bragging rights. They found victory. And as any other great dynasty, it will soon diminish. The Nick Saban era will end, just as the Bear's did. It may be with a bang, or it may fizzle out; either way, victories and fans will both decrease at some point or another. Frankly, I'm kinda looking forward to losing some fans. It'll separate those with a love for the school from those with hype for the school... anyways, there's a point to all this.

Webster defines a fan as an "enthusiastic devotee (as of a sport or performing art) usually as a spectator". What sticks out to me? Usually as a spectator. Christianity has become a spectator sport. We would much rather sit on the bench and cheer for Christ. We have believed, but we have not committed. We watch the game passionately, but we are not on the field taking the hard hits. Jesus has been sold to us, no, presented as something we deserve. This 'religion' has turned into "a gospel that cost them nothing and offered them everything."*

"My concern is that many of our churches in America have gone from being sanctuaries to become stadiums... The biggest threat to the church today is fans who call themselves Christians but aren't actually interested in following Christ. They want to be close enough to Jesus to get all the benefits, but not so close that it requires anything from them."*

I have sat on the bench. I've painted my face with my team colors, gave pep talks to the players, sat back, and enjoyed the game. I've been a cheerleader, a sore winner, and an enthusiastic fan. Fans are loud and proud when the seas are smooth, but bail at the first sight of a storm. Nuh-uh. No more. I've had things laid on my heart that I should have said and didn't because of what it may cost me, I'll have to answer for that one day. But lately I've asked, what's the point in living a life that is anything less than what we were called into? Christ has tons of fans, but few true followers.

"There is no way to follow Jesus without him interfering with your life."*

If you don't want your life to be interfered with, truly following Christ may not be what you're looking for. In my opinion, Christianity is belittles so because it is the only true, honest thing left on the planet. You can run from everything, but God. Can hide from everything, but Truth. You can be absolutely emotionless, until it comes to the love and forgiveness of the risen Savior. No masks. Nothing fake. Raw truth. Truth hurts. Truth is often rejected because it isn't what people want to hear. 

The town I've grown up in is full of fans. I don't think I've been a 100% fan, but I have certainly not been a 100% follower. In 2013, I'm not going to resolve to lose x numbers of pound or stick to a diet. This year, I'm going to be a follower.

*direct quotes from 'Not a Fan' by Kyle Idleman*
        I encourage everyone to check it out

Cookies, Candies, and Carbs! Oh my!

I'll start off by saying. Merry Christmas y'all! I wrote in my last blog that I would publish a blog to help you guys maintain weight during the holiday season. I know how difficult this is, especially when your grandmother, aunts, and momma's cooking skills all go into Christmas mode!

Here's a couple of general holiday rules:

1. Remember THE reason for Christmas!

        -Celebrating the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ!

2. Spend time with your family!

3. Laugh, a lot!

4. Have fun!

5. Proportions, proportions, proportions.

Most people tend to gain weight during the holiday season because they over eat! Myself included. This year try to cut a few calories out. One great way to do this is replace sweet tea or a soft drink with cold water! Many of our calories come from our beverages.

The Christmas meal is the best meal of the year, well behind the fourth of July of course! Skip the rolls and home made mac-n-cheese (that's my personal favorite, btw. This will be a challenge for myself) and replace them with green beans or any kind of vegetable you have. Next for the meat of the meal. Some families do turkey, some do ham, some do chicken. I definitely recommend baked chicken or turkey over ham. Chicken and turkey are lighter, less calorie meats when taken in at a normal serving size. Finally, the dessert. Everybody loves a piece of cake, couple of cookies, or some of mawmaw's pie! If you want a cookie, get ONE cookie. Get a very, very small serving of sweets and if you still have a sweet tooth, if your family is like mine, somebody brings a fruit bowl. Fruits and friends and food!

Now that we've discussed the food part, let's talk about the after food part. Get up and do something! You don't have to make yourself exercise because that really isn't fun when you're suppose to be relaxing. You can do little things to burn some extra calories.

-Help Clean Up!

-If a kid asks you to Just Dance or play some sort of game, do it!

-Laugh it up! (burns calories ya know)

-Get outside with the kids in your family!

-Don't take a to-go plate!

Christmas 2011!

 Of course I like to throw in some before pictures. Even though I'm not proud of who I was back then, spiritually and physically, I'm excited about how far I have come!

Almost one year to the day later, 35 lbs down!

Don't forget the TRUE reason for the Christmas season!

"For unto us a child is born, to us a son is given: and government shall be on his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counselor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace." -Isaiah 9:6

Keep Calm and Be Thankful

I haven't been around as much as I would like. I'm truly sorry. 
 

New York after super storm Sandy

I have friends on the East Coast that have faced disaster, and friends here that have faced death. Parts of Jamaica have been flooded; the Earth is rumbling from Myanmar to Alaska and everywhere in between. We have faced a tough election, and an even tougher loss for the Alabama Crimson Tide. Devastation is lurking everywhere, destruction is waiting for a glimpse of weakness so it may spring into action and cause people to crumble. 

Myanmar after 6.8 quake

The tides are ever changing, nothing remains the same. At times, I think this may be where our problems originate. We are at a point when God has been put on the back burner. This is the Bible Belt, is that even possible? You better believe it. It's happening. We have become about the building, the band, and the numbers; yes, numbers. Because we all know the biggest is the best. Insert sarcasm. If the biggest were the best, Alphonse Taylor would be the best player on the University of Alabama's football team. Anyways, His people need to get back to what we were originally called into. A life where you not only claim Christianity, but you live it to. That goes for all of us; me, you, your parents, siblings, great aunts and uncles. Everyone. I'm convinced that if His people were His people Monday through Sunday, things would be radically different. 

 “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?’ Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!’-Matthew 7:21-23
 "Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keeps the law, is happy" -Proverbs 29:18

We live in a country where we are given the freedom of speech, the freedom of religion, the freedom to live out the life we were called to, rather called by God or self, that's an entirely different conversation. We can choose any life to lead. We are blessed with family and faith. We are blessed to live in the free world. We are blessed with the Holy Spirit. With all of this being said, especially the first paragraph of this blog, don't you think it's about time for us just to be thankful. We are so in a fizzy about every little thing. We need to step back, take a breath, realize that everything that happens is directed by the hand of God. We never count our blessings, until there's nothing left to count. Don't miss out on what God is doing for you right now, it could be gone just like that.

Keep Calm and Be Thankful!

Steps off soap box.

Absentee

August 15th. Five and a half weeks. 40 Days since my last blog.

I guess you can say I have been a little absent. Maybe a tad bit distracted.

Over the past 40 days, so much has changed. The "lasts of the firsts" and that "bittersweet" feeling I've always heard about has become so real to me. (btw, there is a fitness point to this blog.)

I went to my final HS orientation, halleluiah! On August 20, I started the last year of my high school career. I am now at the top of the food chain. The big dawg. The Senior. I have had days that make me so sad that I am about at the end of my journey here; I've also had days when I was thankful that I am about to start a new chapter. I have had days where I look forward to the future and days where my future seems to crumble. I have had more laughs than tears. More hellos than goodbyes. Even a nice to meet you. Through all of that, I have realized something- maybe Senior year is my year.

I started my job back at CAST; I have missed my kids and coworkers very very much! I am in the middle of my senior project and I have college deadlines as long as my arm that are quickly approaching. I am a student athletic trainer with the football team. I was just informed that I am a mentor of the 2013 Bibb County Youth Leadership. I am editor of the yearbook, president of the Honor Society, member of Anchor Club, participate in Fellowship of Christian Student, peer leader, active at New Life Baptist, and run my own photography business. 

I just wanted you all to know that I have not forgotten about you and I have actually been busy.  I would also like to apologize in advanced for not being able to blog as much as I would like.

Most of you don't give a rip about my personal life, which is okay because I probably don't care about yours either. Maybe I am kidding, maybe I am not. Here comes the actual fitness part.

I have a wide variety of followers that keep up with this blog. (Thank you!) From HS students, to college students, parents, teachers, nurses, dreamers, and everything in between. For the most part, our day to day schedule changes about the end of August when school starts back.

From August-May, it is so easy to get lost in a schedule, drown in paper work, run out of time to breath, and completely forget about fitness. The easiest thing to do during these months is this- "Hey! Can I get a Quarter Pounder and a Sweet Tea! Would you like frieds with that? Heck yeah! Medium fries!" Does this sound like you? It used to sound a whole lot like me.

A medium order of fries contain 380 calories; 170 from pure fat. Chicken nuggets? 470; 270 from fat. Do you have a sweet tooth? Let throw in a chocolate milkshake. 570 calories; 160 from fat. That's 1,470 calories. Most of us only need about 1,500 calories per day.

Not only are meals from fast food restaurants high is calories and fat, they are also fake. Chicken nuggets, fake. Hamburgers, soy. Everything processed, packaged, and perfectly advertised to make you want it. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy chicken nuggets and sweet tea just as much as the next person. But I avoid it. I never have fast food, unless it's Chick-Fil-A. Or Subway every once in a blue moon. But I know people who eat fast food every single day. Take a second to think about what you're pumping into your body.

Restaurant meals are not much better. Meals served to you are two times the regular serving. I'm not saying don't eat out because that would totally make me a hypocrite. But I am saying, be smart. Order something healthier than red meat and fries every once in a while. And here's another secret, restaurants have to-go boxes! Save some for later!

The moral of the story is, a pound of fat is 3,500 calories. If you eat out every single day, I'm going to guesstimate that that's about 10,500 calories. 3 pounds just from eating out. That doesn't sound like much, but it adds up. How many calories can you eliminate from fast food?

Here's the challenge. Skip the fast food! Give it up for a month. See what happens. And as a bonus, get outside and walk a few times a week. It doesn't have to be for long or everyday. This weather is just too perfect to spend it indoors!