My name is Kelly Hollifield.

My name is Kelly Hollifield and I am an addict.

I am captivated by lyrics with meanings, photographs with stories, and experiences that cannot be verbalized. I live in my day dreams. I want to lead. I aspire to inspire. I am strong. I am as steady. I love people. I am real. I am honest. I think thoughts laced with ideas to bring life to the lifeless and hope to the hopeless. I seek opportunities to change the world around me. I am driven by the desire to be more than I am. I am thirsty for my Jesus. I see a life beyond the borders of my hometown, beyond my college town, beyond my state of origin and perhaps beyond the shores of my stars and stripes.

Those things make life worthwhile. Those things produce smiles and laughter. Those things give that amazing sparkle to the eyes of a passionate person. Those things yield confidence. Those things are the definition of living.

I have the inability to connect. I struggle relating to my generation. I push everyone away that tries to love me. I am known as being emotionless. I am practically a robot in the eyes of most. I have learned to have no expectation because they lead to disappointments. I have a heart that has been broken. I have walls that cannot not be penetrated; at least they haven’t been yet. I have a past. But more importantly, I have a future. 

Those things are the darkness. Those things are the bad days. Those things are the lows. Those things are not of God. Those things are real to me. Those things are lies. Those things are from the Great Deceiver. Those things are a part of life.

I have the worst addiction. It does not produce a high. It only leave you with regrets. I am addicted to excuses. My security blanket it fear. I crumble when fear breathes down my neck. When exposed, the only thing left of me is a long list of what ifs. I am living a life that I have been set free of. I have been set free from this world. To live is Christ and die is gain. That is not a message of fear, but hope. I was given the spirit of power, love, and a sound mind. I have sold myself short to the plan God has for my life; all in the name of fear.

But that’s the truth. I am afraid. I am afraid to fail. I am afraid I will lead a life with no legacy. I am afraid I will be forgotten. I am afraid to feel. I am afraid to open up. I am afraid to disappoint.  I am afraid that showing too much of my heart will lead to pain. I am afraid of my emotions. All of these fears are weighing down my life. All of these fears have effected my happiness. Happiness comes from seeking God’s face and His face alone. I want that more than anything.

I didn’t write this blog for pity or a pat on the back. I’m not looking for that. Don’t post any comments like that. What I am trying to do is something entirely new to me. This is unlike anything I have every written before.I want to be real. I want my reader’s to know who I am. I want all of you to do life with me. I want you all to be able to talk to me about all subjects. I want all of you to see my imperfections. I want all of you to know that I have been made perfect and blameless only through the blood of Christ. I want you all to know that fear is real, but boldness found in the Word of God trumps fear. I want all of you to know love; love found in Christ. I want all of you to find the hope I have found. His name is Jesus.

My name is Kelly Hollifield and I am on a journey to reckless abandonment.

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. -2 Timothy 1:7

My prayer for 2014 is to set aside things that break my heart and focus on the things that break my Father's heart. My prayer is to be lead where my feet may fail and my trust is without borders. 
Join me?

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dy9nwe9_xzw

I would like to start hearing from you guys. Feel free to email me at hollifield.m.kelly@gmail.com or you can find me on Facebook and Twitter.